Assertiveness

Describe
Express
Specify

The DESC script was developed by Sharon and Gordon Bower and is discussed more fully in their book, Asserting Yourself. The following page and example is quoted from the publication:  DESC stands for Describe, Express, Specify, and Consequences. Try writing the script out and practicing it before you talk to the person.

Describe

Describe the behavior/situation as completely and objectively as possible. Just the facts! “The last time, my brother George came to visit, I cleaned the entire house all by myself.”

Express

Express your feelings and thoughts about the situation/behavior. Try to phrase your statements using “I”, and not “You”. Beginning sentences with “You” often puts people on the defensive, which means they won’t listen to you. “As a result, I felt exhausted and angry.”

Specify

Specify what behavior/outcome you would prefer to happen. “I would like the two of us to work on cleaning the house.”
Specify the consequences (both positive and negative). “If we both work together, the house will be cleaned up faster and we can all enjoy his visit together.” Or “If we work together, I will be less tired and irritable.”