Bullying

Intended or Unintended
Allow others time
Seek feedback

Do you make decisions for others, sometimes under pressure? Anyone can come across as bullying or undermining in their behaviour if they have to, or want to, make decisions for others.
Everyone needs to be aware they can be perceived as a bully when pushing for decisions and actions even if they don’t intend to. Keep your mind open to the possibility that you might come across as a bully. Think about how you come across to others.

Intended or Unintended

In most cases bullying is the unintended outcome of making decisions quickly and therefore coming across as forceful in your attempts to encourage others to accept the decision. It is often how something is said.
Some people may undermine others intentionally because it meets an inner need in themselves. This may be a satisfaction in reaching a decision or it may meet a sense of insecurity, which is overcome by a feeling of power over others.
Usually it is just that people have learnt to use certain phrases and approaches which get people to agree more quickly. Phrases and words which close down the options for reply and funnel the listener to acceptance.

Allow others time

There is a big difference between making a proposal and telling people what is needed. But it is a very small difference in the language used.

“You could” or “you must”
“I think” or “we have to”
“we should” or “we will”
“I believe” or “I know”

In the longer term it is better to share your suggestions and allow others time to digest them, consider them and develop them. This allows genuine ownership and facilitates much more effective, durable action. A decision forced on people builds passive resistance and in the long term blocks progress

Seek feedback

Find out if your approach is seen as undermining or bullying. It takes both courage and time to ask others how you came across. Did you really get genuine agreement or did people say yes because you pushed them to?

Ask how it went and give time for people to say how they felt. Sit down and actively listen.
If you are a rapid decision maker you may not feel this is a good use of your time, but just try changing your approach for a short period to allow a doorway to real feedback.
The investment in getting real feedback will pay off many times over when people genuinely agree and work together with you and your aims.

If you rush feedback others will just tell you it is Ok and be scared to say what they really feel. Asking how you could develop your approach is more likely to get constructive feedback. Consider other ways you can ask for feedback on how you get things done. Peer review or 360 degree feedback tools can sometimes help.
Check how effective you are at getting those truly shared decisions that lead to more effective, bigger and more durable change.